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How do you navigate being the spiritual leader in a relationship as a woman?

I don’t think you need to compromise being the spiritual leader because you are in a relationship, but you do need to make sure that you are sharing that experience with your mate and that they are on the same page as you.  If not, conflict can occur.  As you know, every walk of faith is individual, and that growth happens on its own time.  I would be mindful of this, because your mate might not be where you are spiritually and that is something you will have to take into consideration.  A relationship is a team effort of two people coming together and therefore mutual understanding of faith is needed.

How do you establish boundaries with your significant other’s parents?

For those boundaries to be made clear and respected it has to come as a united front from the both of you.  You both must also be willing to follow-through with any consequences for the boundaries not being respected.  There is a chance that you will be successful setting those boundaries with your mate’s family on your own, but that could cause a potential strain in your relationship, especially if your mate feels like they are stuck in the middle.  The family needs to see and understand that this is not just a boundary you want, but a boundary that you both agree to.  If your mate is unwilling to understand your views and feelings about those boundaries, then there may be a lack of mutual respect.  And respect is essential to a healthy relationship.

If I didn’t start off in a long distance relationship. Once my partner moves, how can we create a healthy long distance relationship?

I happen to be one of the few people that believe in long distance relationships.  I’m not saying that they are not challenging, but it is very possible for them to be successful.  Here are a few tips…

      • 1. Be honest about your schedules: find a rhythm that works well for your communications.  Maybe have planned phone time or facetime
      • 2.  Do things together: just because you are miles apart doesn’t mean you both can’t watch a movie or show together.  Pick a movie, call each other, press play.  When I dated long distance, we would also play computer games together.
      • 3.  Continue to LIVE: do not put your life on hold.  Continue to set goals for yourself and go for them.  The last thing you want is no not follow a passion, then resent it later.
      • 4.  Let trust in: distance does not equal infidelity.  You know your mate’s mannerisms and behaviors at this point, those should not shift dramatically due to distance.  Remember, he or she is also trusting you as well.  

How do you know if you are settling in a relationship?

If you are asking this question because you are feeling “some type of way” about a dynamic in your relationship, then you may already be settling.  Granted every expectation you have set for a potential mate may not be realistic for that situation.  However, the basics must be met for common ground and growth to take place.  Here are some signs that you may be settling:

  • 1.  It takes effort for you to interact with your mate.
  • 2.  You become restless hen around them or just go through the motions.
  • 3.  You are constantly trying to convince yourself that things are fine.
  • 4.  You’ve got someone else on the brain
  • 5.  You complain about your mate often.

Be aware that even if your mate is a cool person and has great qualities, doesn’t mean they are equally yoked for you…and that’s ok. You deserve to be with someone that you value and who also values you and your current mate deserves the same