It’s amazing how many singles I encounter as a Matchmaker that are impatiently waiting for the perfect person to waltz into their lives and knock them of their feet…. the number of singles who are expecting a story book encounter and a fantasy, scripted movie ending…the amount of singles who seem to believe that they’re actually perfect themselves.

We’re human! So we can often find ourselves chasing false realities as we set out on an ongoing search for the perfect job, house, car, and lover…the perfect family, friends and lifestyle. There is absolutely nothing wrong with striving to have the best experiences in life, aiming to be the best version of yourself or making every effort to have the best relationship a couple can have. But then our subconscious expectations about adult relationships and committed love start to kick in, followed by an attempt to change one another when bliss becomes a challenge and perfection becomes reality. And it is this that becomes the problem!

It is very harmful to expect flawless interactions and consistent euphoria between mates, because the truth is, friction is bound to happen, but it’s how you respond to it that makes the difference.

Here are 5 ways to shift your relationship expectations from perfection to what really matters, emotional harmony.

  1. Stop operating out of your personal feelings alone. This makes you self-centered in a relationship. Start using words like “us” and “we.”
  1. Get some staying power! Your response to experiencing a rough patch shouldn’t be packing your bags and “on to the next”. Most of the time understanding and effective communication is the best solution. But you have to give it a try.
  1. Get rid of the idea of this perfect mythical creature that doesn’t really exist. You will never be satisfied or experience true happiness in a relationship with that mindset.
  1. Stop being bothered by the little things and allowing them to turn into (unnecessary) big things. In the end you’ll find yourself wondering, “how did we get here?”
  1. Cut yourself some slack and eliminate some of that self-inflicted pressure to have the perfect mate. Relax a little bit and accept the fact that you or the person you’ll ultimately be with are nowhere near perfection…and that’s ok!

As Always,