I absolutely love weddings…everything from the décor, the coming together of family and the palpable amount of love that usually consumes the room. I recently served as the matron of honor in my best friend’s wedding. With that title I knew I was expected to deliver a speech about the bride, memories of our friendship and my happiness about this next phase of her life. But, for some reason, I found this task difficult to do.

Could I have reminisced out loud about our crazy college moments? Easily! However, though our past was meaningful to us, those memories wouldn’t influence their future as husband and wife. So, I realized my job was to impart wisdom on how to sustain the union they had just created. In that moment, two very important things came to mind: transitions and conversations.


We all know that the only thing that’s constant is change, and with change, transition. Any time there is something new introduced to a relationship it often causes a shift. That “new thing” can be something exciting like the birth of a baby, something challenging like the loss of a job or just uncertainty about the future.

Whatever the transition may be, it’s so important to operate from a space of understanding. Understand that your expectations for each other may change, your roles may change and who you are to each other during that season may change. But, the most important thing is to not allow the transition to shake you up so much that you allow the state of your relationship to unravel.

What sustains a marriage, or any relationship for that matter, is the couples ability to harmoniously adjust


Conversations….have them, constantly! We all know that communication is so valuable to the life of a relationship. It’s important to “check in” to see how each other is doing…If you’re happy and if there’s something both should or could do to keep the relationship fresh and upbeat.

The two of you should create a no judgement zone where you’re able to communicate transparently without criticism. You should be able to openly express your thoughts and emotions in a space where you both feel comfortable, safe and heard.

Healthy conversations strengthens relationships and saves marriages

The moment you say “I Do” is the beginning of a transition and should be the start of a new conversation. Don’t look at it as embarking on a new season, as seasons return, but rather a new Era. Enter with a fresh perspective, create a new foundation for yourselves and your family and learn each other as husband and wife, as it’s these things that will continue to grow you as partners.

Having a solid foundation and understanding your identity within your marriage is vital!

So, To the Bride and Groom!

As Always,