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My late twenties have brought so much clarity into my life, particularly the fact that I can no longer deny the fact that I’m a stage 4 people pleaser. I’m not sure where this began, but I do know that most of my life, other people’s happiness and desires have somehow always ended up coming before mine.

As I become more conscious of how this kind of self-sacrifice has guided my life decisions down to what I wore and even who I befriended, I saw how such self-sacrifice was hindering my mental, spiritual and physical wellbeing, so I made a decision to begin creating a lifestyle that catered to my needs and wants and set boundaries to teach everyone around to follow suit.

If you find yourself in a similar situation, here are some reasons it’s not only OK, but a requirement to put yourself first.

Your Happiness is your Responsibility
Here’s the harsh truth, if you’re unhappy; it’s your own fault. It’s your life and no one is here to make you happy. If you want to create the life that you desire, you need to take responsibility, like right now! That requires you to take immediate inventory on what it is that makes you happy, what goals you would like to achieve and what steps are necessary to get you from where you are to where you want to be.

You can’t give what you don’t have
Step on any flight and the first thing they’ll tell you is, “Put your air mask on first before you try to help your neighbor.” This instruction can also be applied to our everyday lives as well.

Far too often we believe that it’s a sign of strength that we appear to be able to juggle everyone else’s needs and wants meanwhile in our own lives we’re struggling just to stay above water.

Yes, it’s commendable to want to help our loved ones out, but not at the expense of ourselves. Think about it like this, what good could you really offer the world if you are not living to your fullest potential?

It’s not selfish, it’s self-care
Again, it’s your life, and making yourself a priority is not negotiable. Some of us should have doctorate degrees in the field of mastering the balancing act of dealing with the demands of work commitments and family responsibilities with a smile, but we all know it can definitely be overwhelming and requires us to take time to recoup.

Mastering the balancing act amidst dealing with the demands place on you between work commitments and family responsibilities can definitely be overwhelming and requires us to take time to recoup. Even when guilt tries to creep in your mind, making you feel like self-care is selfish, remember that it’s not and you’re worthy of taking the time out to take care of you.

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