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Sadly, I think my boyfriend may be cheating on me. I’m not positive though, how should I go about this?
Let me say that this is a very uncomfortable position to be in and I hate that you are experiencing this. Not feeling secure in your relationship is the worst. It is a grey area that you must “proceed with caution.” If you jump headfirst, you may be wrong and that causes a whole other level of issues, but at that same time, you ain’t’ no fool and will not tolerate disrespect. I would approach it like this. Address the changes in his behaviors and the growing disconnect between the two of you. Make it very clear that you are aware of these changes and how his behaviors have impacted your belief in the stability of your relationship. Be matter-of-fact and be direct. You are not a weak woman; you are a woman of worth. His response will help you draw conclusions or set boundaries. At the end of the day, you must trust yourself. If you are no longer feeling secure, express it. If you are wrong about him cheating, then there shouldn’t be any objection to him correcting those behaviors and both of you re-connecting.
I really don’t want my significant other to be speaking to other women (text, call, Snapchat). Am I crazy for this?
I would never call you crazy. Instead, are you being rational? If there have been issues with your mate regarding inappropriate activities with others, then I can understand your reasoning and boundaries. This may be a time to re-assess your relationship. However, if they haven’t given you any reason to feel this way, its time to look within. Are you carrying mistrust from the past? Do you chat or call others outside of your mate? I’m a true believer that our mates can interact with others in a respectful manner, just as we can. The fact is, you cannot control another person’s actions. You can set boundaries and make requests, but ultimately you must trust your mate and communicate your feelings openly. You know yourself better than anyone and if communication with women is a deal-breaker, you need to be honest with yourself and with your mate.
My partner and I find ourselves struggling when the big bills come. I am the one that saves well and I’m always being cautious of what I spend our money on (shopping, buying lunch at work, etc). How can I approach him about this without getting into an argument?
I would remind him or her about shared responsibilities when it comes to paying bills and the agreement you both originally made. I would gather all primary bills and equally divide them (this may not be 50/50 depending on individual income) and then discuss savings for emergencies such as those “big” bills. It is not the responsibility of one person in a relationship to manage money wisely, it takes two for that. Talking about finances is always a tough conversation, but one that must be had. Part of being an adult regardless of a relationship is being financially responsible and making financial decisions. It’s even more important to be open and find balance when you are connected to another person. Be clear that you two are a team and must support one another in all areas, including the finances. Take a look at how you each spend your money and decides how to save jointly.