Submit your questions to Dr. East TODAY! E-mail all questions to firstname.lastname@example.org.I really like this guy who is known to be a player! He’s always had a girl by his side and I allowed myself to gain feelings for him. I want to move forward and be exclusive but I fear that there will still be other girls. Dr. East, should I kick this guy to the curb or trust that it will work out how it’s supposed to? Now I am the 1st person to remind an individual that people can change and people can grow, however, I also all have to be honest with folks and help them to realize that some individuals are not yet ready for that growth. I get that you like this dude and you are attracted to him however I need you to remove your emotions and your loins from the situation and focus with your head. Does this guy represent someone that you would want to be with for the long term? Does he represent the qualities of a man that you would find respectful, loyal, honest? Is this someone that you feel you can trust and submit yourself to within the relationship? If you were hesitant about saying yes to any of the above, then I would take some time, be still and let him know where your head is at. Be honest with him about the fact you are feeling him and that you would like to pursue something, but only on certain conditions. Be honest about your standards, expectations and your worth. Put the ball in his court to make the necessary changes or compromises in order to be that faithful, honest and loyal man that you deserve. If he is hesitant or unable to do so, then kick him to the curb. You are a strong and amazing woman, who is worth more than some sloppy seconds and some leftovers. Either a man comes to you correctly with a full meal on the table or not at all. Hi Dr. East. I have been having doubts about my current relationship because we cannot seem to agree on a few things when we talk about the future. Together, we are a good team though. Do you think these are signs that we wouldn’t work out? I honestly would have to know more about the future topics that you both a not agreeing on. If it’s something as serious as whether you should have children or where you should find a space to live… those can be deal breakers in a relationship and you could be setting yourself up for future failure. However, if these disagreements are built around goals that you want to set for yourself personally or where you should put the dishes or how fast you think the relationship is going or not, then these are areas for conversation and compromise. I think that every situation can be worked out with communication, but I also feel that just because the communication is there doesn’t guarantee that you’re going to like the answers. I need you to think about your compromises and your deal breakers. What are some things in your life that you are willing to compromise on in order to be in this relationship and what are some things that are absolute deal breakers? If the issues that you guys are having are your absolute deal breakers then you need to sit down and think really clearly about whether this is a relationship that you choose to pursue further. I was in a relationship for five years and just recently, we parted ways. When is too soon to begin dating? All my friends think I should wait at least a year… Honey it is never too soon to begin dating; it’s all about healing. I do not believe in all these myths and societal expectations that just because you break up with someone that there must be a certain period of time before you allow yourself to move forward. It all depends on the intensity and the level of the relationship when you left it. Some women break-up and then they have to take some time to heal, some women begin that transition when they’re in the relationship. You know yourself more than anyone. As long as you are not having any residual emotions from your previous relationship then I think it’s safe to move forward. But be cautious if you are still having lingering emotions; meaning if there is still music that you won’t listen to or places that you won’t go or smells that trigger you then you need to make sure you heal from that because it is not fair for the next partner that you get in a relationship with to suffer for the misbehaving’s of your past mates.
Dr. East SPEAKS: Falling for a Player, Doubts In a Relationship, & When Is “Too Soon” to Date Again