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It’s a given that the entire month of February is dedicated to love but how can someone single find the courage to be okay with being single and enjoy their own company?
Let me keep it all the way real…not all of us is “Boo’d up” this month and hell, some of us with boos don’t feel like being bothered! Lol So, for all my ladies who may be single or who just want to be their own valentine, this is for you.
Taking time to love yourself is not only important but it’s essential to your sanity as well as a reminder of your worth. You deserve to treat yourself, to be a little selfish, to restore balance.
Focus on what you love – remember that you love more than just people. You love a long drive with the windows down, singing out loud, antique shopping or even board games. No matter what it is spend some time focusing on what you love.
Remember your awesomeness – stop comparing yourself to others so much. Realize that you define who you are, and you are in charge of writing your own story. Your ups and downs built the strengths that you see in the mirror and that’s pretty awesome.
Know how you want to be loved – How are you going to love yourself better? Think about it, when moments are good, we are loving the hell out of ourselves, but when things get tough that love flies right out the window. Show compassion to yourself, empathy and forgiveness. These are the same attributes you would show others, so why not yourself? Make YOU a priority and practice what you preach!
Accept what you cannot love – Even I don’t love everything about myself. But what I have learned is acceptance. Frustration and anxieties happen. The more we try to fix, control and love them, the higher our tensions rise. So, exhale honey and accept your flaws fearlessly. You are a brilliant, generous, compassionate, quirky, sexy, confident, couponing queen; Own it and LOVE IT!
Self-Love is about embracing change, accepting awkwardness, enjoying new adventures and appreciating the ride along the way. By creating your own happiness, you find love within… space where it all begins.
My boyfriend still talks to his ex-girlfriend, not every day but they are still pretty close. I’ll admit that it makes me jealous. Should I be concerned or am I letting my thoughts get to me?
This is something I have had personal experience with. Both my husband and I came into the relationship with ex’s who were now friends. However, we both were honest about who they were, the past and made time to introduce our ex’s to each other. This gave both of us the opportunity to decide if we wanted to continue the relationship. There also weren’t any alarming behaviors from either of us that made the other person feel uncomfortable. ie: no going outside to talk on the phone, no quick hang-ups, things like that. But there are some things you need to consider…
Number 1, has he introduced you to her? Have you had the opportunity to meet her? This is important because ex-mates can transition into friendship and have healthy boundaries. If his ex is now a close friend, there should be no issues with you meeting her (especially if she is local). But if he is being secretive about their communication in any way, then you may need to ask more questions.
Number 2, is this a recent ex? If, so there may be some residual feelings still there between the two of them. Even though he is with you, if he hasn’t healed from his previous relationship there can easily be triggers that cause an emotional relapse. You deserve to be with a mate who is 100% available and vice versa.
Number 3, have you discussed your feelings with your mate? Your feelings do matter and if this is someone who you value, you need to communicate with him. Be specific about the behaviors that make you feel uncomfortable. He should be receptive to any questions if she’s just a friend, and then you both can come up with a healthy compromise or boundaries.
Bottom line, don’t compromise your worth for any person and don’t hold on to anyone who is not holding back. A healthy relationship takes 2 people, a lot of communication and some compromise.
There are a lot of trust issues between my significant other and I. We are both very cautious, I guess you can say. How can we both put that aside and focus on our relationship?
Trust is something that can easily be taken away and even harder to gain. Being that you both are cautious when it comes to relationships, the first thing I would ask is have you healed?
With any new relationship there is nervousness and apprehensions, however, if they these emotions are strong enough to alter the ways in which you would normally act towards each other, there may be some left-over residuals from previous relationships. This is not a deal breaker but needs to be addressed in order for you both to “untie” yourself from the past and face the future with no strings.
Next question, is have you broken trust with each other in the past? If this is the case caution is understandable, but still has to be confronted in order for there to be healing and growth.
Lastly, have you both shared your fears as well as your needs? Too many times in relationships folks lay down these rules about how they don’t want to be treated and won’t accept certain behaviors, but then they don’t guide their mate towards what they do need, want or like. Neither one of you are mind readers, so communication is essential.
Relationships are beautiful things that can add vitality, joy and hope to our lives, but they are indeed a risk. What the two of you have to decide is if you both are willing to take that risk. If your answer is yes, then fight for one another, support the growth as well as the setbacks, but make the choice every day to move forward and trust.
I’ve always been used to guys approaching me and making the first move, however, there is one guy that has caught my attention and I just can’t grow the courage to make a move! He hasn’t dropped clues that he may be interested in me though. Should I take the risk and go for it? Or should I wait until he makes a move on me?
Even though this is 2019, there’s still this social expectation for women to be “ladies” and not be aggressive or too forward. But I feel that a lil assertiveness and confidence is very attractive on a woman and doesn’t define her ability to carry herself as a lady. Just because you make the first move in approaching him does not classify you as some desperate or loose woman. It simply shows you are not afraid to take the first step.
The other piece is maybe he is not available or not even aware that you are interested. Men get rejected all the time by women, so I have found that they are a lot more cautious when approaching… they have feelings too!
If he is taken, no harm done; all you did was give him a compliment and invite him for coffee. (Excuse me, my name is….. I don’t mean to take up too much of your time, but I find you attractive and was wondering if you’d like to grab a cup of coffee sometime) That’s it! Quick and classy.
Life is too short and too precious to not live it completely, plus its just coffee, you ain’t proposing! Chile let that man know you are interested, and whatever the outcome, at least you took the risk and know where you stand. Now continue to be the lady you are.