The month of love has arrived and for many it means taking the time to celebrate those who are important in your life. Yet, during this “month of love,” what is for some, a chance to celebrate true love is for others, a difficult time that can bring on feelings of loneliness and depression, especially if you just recently loss someone you love.
So how do you cope with losing someone who you cared deeply about? Well, Connecticut native, Dr. Nichol Burris, recently shared in her new book, “Dying: What Does It Look Like,” about how you can get through the moments in your life after losing someone you love. Take a look below at some very helpful information Dr. Burris shared to help you cope with losing a loved one and how you, yourself if having experienced a recent loss can prevail and get back to a healthier state of mind.
What inspired you to write the book, “Dying: What Does It Look Like”?
I’m a hospice chaplain and what I have discovered that happens is that most of us are not prepared for death,or the dying process. I think most of us have a fear of death, if we have a better understanding of what it is that we are seeing and the different changes that our loved ones go through, then we will be able to better embrace it.
How has your book helped others cope with death and sickness?
This book has helped people get through the process in many ways. Often times, we don’t fully know what is happening and most of the events that happen when someone is dying includes the loss of appetite, sleeping more, and a lack of attention to what is going on around them. This book is an educational tool for families and the friends of the person who is dying to understand and recognize what is happening. It helps them with their grieving which usually starts to happen during the time that the person is diagnosed with the terminal illness. Through this book, individuals gain help understanding the process and how to cope with it.
You never heal from the death of a loved one. How can a person move forward and build a new beginning?
We never get over death but we can get through it. As a believer, you have to be able to recognize that your loved one is still living, just not here in the physical. So we begin healing by different methods, with one being that you identify who they were in your life, identify what your stresses are and knowing that it’s okay to cry and okay to be alone, or that you just don’t really feel like dealing with people on a particular day. So that’s how you begin going through the grieving process. Grieving doesn’t really have a time frame and I think that in our society, with a lack of us even talking about death and dying, it makes it harder for people who are grieving to recognize it because they don’t want to talk about it. We have to recognize that it’s okay and that we don’t get over death, but day by day eventually we can get through it and find that joy and laughter again.
Coping with the loss of a close friend or family member during any special time of the year may be one of the hardest challenges that many of us face. Everyone reacts differently to death and employs personal coping mechanisms for grief. Research shows that most people can recover from loss on their own through the passage of time if they have social support and healthy habits. Human beings are naturally resilient, considering most of us can endure loss and then continue on with our own lives. Some people may struggle with grief for longer periods of time and feel unable to carry out daily activities. Dr. Nichol Burris is not only a pastor but a mentor who helps those in need of support during these devastating times. Through her books many have overcame the stressful and depressed stages of grieving behind the loss of loved ones.
If you have experienced the loss of a loved one and you are finding it difficult to get over it then you can check out her book by clicking HERE.