Most people believe rejection is a negative word and would rather not be involved with anything relating to it. But did you know that all rejection isn’t bad? Some rejection, in its twisted fate, can be a saving grace and keep you from death – mentally, emotionally, spiritually and even physically speaking. In my book, Rejection Saved My Life, I share my own personal journey, about how I learned to use rejection for my benefit. It is my hope that you can look over your life and be grateful for ALL things that have transpired – the good, the bad, the ugly and even the rejection.
When I was first introduced to rejection, it was through a game as a child called, “Catch-A-Girl-Kiss-A-Girl”. This game was filled with rejection. All the kids would gather around, usually with an equal number of boys and girls so they would eventually pair up. The leader of the pact would yell, “Catch-A-Girl-Kiss-A-Girl” and everyone would scatter. The girls would run as fast as they could, until the boy they crushed on, came running after them. This prompted the girls to be coy and change their fast run to a slow jog in hopes of being caught. When they noticed their crush catching up, they would run towards some large object, like a tree, so when caught, they would be kissed. There were always a few boys chasing the same girl and some poor girl would be left out of the chase. Many times that poor girl was me. Now, I know you may be thinking, aww that’s terrible, but even then rejection was saving me when I didn’t know it. Because many of these girls were pregnant by age 13, and I didn’t have my first child until I was 21.
This same “blessing” of rejection carried into other areas of my life, showing up in places others would have never agreed to endure, but I would always find the upside in my trials. Rejection dragged me through abandonment from my mother as a young child, molestation as an adolescent, drug abuse as a teen, domestic violence as a young woman, several suicide attempts, and then four marriages which all ended in divorce. Rejection taught me to hate myself while still trying to love men that pretended to save me from the last rejection. It taught me to give myself to men who weren’t my husband and even to husbands that would recklessly sleep around without recourse or protection.
However, my last husband was the catalyst to me turning my life around. After five months of marriage and being consistently sexually rejected, I found out he was infected with HIV from a supposed one-night stand with a woman he met in Walmart. Yet and still, I decided to stand by his side and care for him. I cared for him day and night until his grim diagnosis changed and was labeled undetectable. I continued, for better and for worse, in sickness and in health until I found out 18 months later that he had been living a double life. One with me as we pastored our own church, and the other as an adulterous man who would pay male prostitutes for sex.
I learned a lot from rejection. But the one thing I never expected was for rejection to teach me how to love myself, forgive, and live out my God-given purpose. I realized that all I had endured was not because God hated me. Rather, it was because He trusted me enough to be able to hold the keys and strategies that I used to crawl out of bitterness, low self-esteem, unforgiveness, and brokenness to help other women do the same.
Which is why after much work, commitment, and investing in myself, I created EquipHer™ – a 6-week boot camp designed to help women discover who they truly are, hidden under all the pain, self-doubt, and fear. The boot camp teaches you to drop your baggage from broken relationships while mastering emotion and creating the life you deserve and desire. The keys found in Rejection Saved My Life are just a snippet of this program but is a perfect starting place to move from rejection to redemption.
Rejection saved my life and can help save yours too.
This feature was submitted by Michelamonè Henderson
Michelamonè Henderson, M.Ed. is the CEO & founder of The Core Woman Academy.
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