It’s no surprise that approaching your crush or an attractive stranger can be an uneasy mission! We all fear the thought of rejection and at times allow that fear to paralyze us…holding us back from the possibility of meeting someone special! Asking someone out on a date shouldn’t be a terrifying experience! The reality is single men and women are waiting hopefully for someone to express interest in them, millions of people trying to maintain as much optimism as possible until someone has the guts to ask them out!

So, you have your eye on who seems like an amazing person and you’re dying to get to know them and eager to explore them as a potential mate, but, your confidence shrinks as you begin asking yourself: “How do I do this without embarrassing myself?” “What if the attraction is not mutual?” These common questions along with many other thoughts cloud your mind and you become an observer of love instead of experiencing love for yourself.

Now I’m aware that the solution to creating approachable opportunities in dating is very different for men and women, so allow me to offer key advice on how to do this from both a male and female perspective….

Ladies First

I’m a firm believer that a woman should never directly ask a guy out, but there’s nothing wrong with creating the opportunity or being in the right place at the right time! So, my advice to the ladies is as follows:

  1. Keep Your Poise: When a man approaches you, maintain your composure. Don’t give off the impression that this is the first time you’ve been asked out in years and you were desperately waiting for him to step to you (even if it’s true). Men find this completely unattractive and what would have been an invitation for a date changes to an invitation to past the nuts!
  1. Let Your Outer Match Your Inner: If a man is approaching you, you can assure yourself that he already finds you physically attractive! Check plus for you! But, since you’ve grabbed his attention physically, don’t be fooled that men are only interested eye candy. Be sure to modestly woo him with your intellect too.
  1. Be Mysterious: When a man approaches you and is curious about whom you are and what you’re all about, don’t share so much TMI during the first encounter. Give brief and witty responses; make great eye contact and give playful touches to his hand or shoulder (flirt a little!).
  1. Seal the Deal: There is nothing wrong with letting him know you enjoyed the exchange! And when you do, politely excuse yourself and say: I hope I run into you again. He’ll be eager to learn more about you, he’ll want to spend more time with you, and so he’ll certainly ask for your number to arrange a date to do so.


It’s a male instinct to pursue something you want, and in dating I believe this is a must! Fellas know what you want and don’t be afraid of the chase!

  1. State the Facts: A woman, due to various reasons, can often mistake your interest in her as a friendly gesture. When you approach a woman you’re attracted to be confident and clear of what lured you to her. Immediately let her know that you think she’s beautiful and ask her for a second of her time.
  1. Ask Questions: To confirm your level of interest pay attention to her, and only her, as if she’s the only woman in the room. Be curious and ask light questions to learn about her. She’ll appreciate the way you made her felt in that moment, and when asked, she’ll certainly accept your offer for a date!
  1. Give Details: A woman wants to be sure of your intentions with her. She’ll be open to your invitation if you’re not indefinite with your approach. For example, instead of saying: “Can I take you out some time?” Try: “Would you like to go wine tasting this Saturday at the local vineyard? We could do dinner at this great Italian restaurant I’m not too far from it, after.”
  1. Be Easy: You’ve laid your offer on the table, now allow her time to think about it! She may have a busy schedule or maybe just apprehensive about going on the date. So don’t pressure her! Ask for her number and permission to call to check her availability and interest in joining you. Let her know you’re looking forward to seeing her again.

Ladies and gents know that approaching someone or positioning yourself to be approached for a date is not as challenging as it may seem, especially knowing that you’re not alone! What gives you an advantage over all the other love bystanders is having the courage to be open minded, putting yourself out there and confidently taking a leap toward what you want! You’re so deserving of being approached for love, so I hope my advice allows you to create the best opportunity to receive and achieve it!

As Always,