We’ve all heard of love at first sight or perhaps have been so smitten that bae could do or say no wrong. You enjoyed showering gifts, taking them on the town, having someone to travel with and to spoil. The sun rose and set on your mate until…it didn’t anymore.
One day you look up and notice the inconsistencies, the dwindling enthusiasm, the fizzled fires of passion, the ignored texts, and cold words. In fact, all the wells seemed have run dry. But wait a minute; does their well have anything to do with yours?
Suddenly ‘Mr. Right’ is acting all wrong! Now ‘Mrs. Right’ seems to only want to hang out with you when it involves making money moves, like visits to the car dealerships or the Versace store.
It’s like something out of a corny Lifetime television movies, except in this production, you play
the lead role; the unsuspecting victim of a cute, cunning and conniving-cat fish.
The self-made mogul has simply come to terms with the fact that she was the prey of a relentless user who after mooching her for countless luxury cars, jewelry, designer clothing, exotic vacations, expensive equipment, land and cattle; used the proceeds from the unauthorized sale of her BMW to retain an incompetent divorce attorney, to attempt to drain her of her business, bank account and what was left of her pride.
Jones, a feisty 5’2 southern belle, with a love for the finer things, was determined to land on her feet. She prepared herself with a legal arsenal and survivor mentality that was not to be outmatched. You will be fascinated by her tales of wit and wherewithal in her new book, Sugar Mama.
What is a Sugar Mama and is it a bad thing to be?
My definition of a Sugar Mama is a female that takes care of a man’s needs 100 % financially. It doesn’t have to be his entire needs, it can be a certain sector of what he’s needing, but it’s something that is done to sustain him whether or not he can support himself. It’s not necessarily a bad thing if you’re helping someone out in the short term, but when it turns into something where a person can’t sustain themselves without your help, then it becomes a problem.
How did you meet your ex-husband? Was there anything you overlooked from the beginning, now looking back?
I met him through a telephone call with a mutual friend. I called her house and he answered the phone.
There were a lot of things that I overlooked in the beginning. One of them was his arrogance, I didn’t realize that his arrogance was true. He always had an attitude of superiority that was superficial, but I didn’t believe that he thought that that who he was when in actuality, he really thought that was who he was and I would have never would have gotten married you know I realized that that was who he truly was.
Did you enter this relationship desperate for love?
No, no, when I went into the relationship. Well prior to being married, I dated multiple men at a time, and I don’t think that I was desperate for love when I got married, I was closer to forty, I don’t think I had quite turned 40, but no, I wasn’t desperate.
When did you notice a change in his behavior?
I noticed a change in his behavior about two to three years before we finally just came to a head and dissolved our marriage, but he had done things like he stopped traveling with me on my business trips. He became more obsessed with what I gave my kids versus what his daughters received and then he put unreasonable demands and expectations on me regarding money closer to the end of the marriage. He had done it at certain time, but the frequency had increased and I caught him in more white lies near the end of the marriage.
Did this relationship affect your relationship with your children? How so?
Yes it did. My children became distant from me in certain ways and didn’t want to discuss certain things with me because of him.
How long you guys were together
Married nine years, knew him for over 16 years. I met him when my daughter was three months old.
How did men or your ex view you from the outside? Did they see a lot of diamonds and flashiness? How did he know what you had?
No, I’ve always had a certain swag about myself that some people would consider flashy and that’s just who I am naturally. It’s not that I’m trying to be that, I think men view me as controlling, but it’s confidence and not being controlling
The message you want your book to leave?
I think women need to learn to love themselves first and take care of themselves. Don’t allow anyone to manipulate you into think that you owe them something or they have a sense of entitlement because they’re in a relationship with you. You need to be priority.
In making yourself the priority, do you feel you would have gotten into this relationship, or it wouldn’t have lasted this long?
It wouldn’t have lasted as long as it did had I made myself the priority because his arrogance and him feeling like he was superior, he would have had to have himself as the priority, he would have had to have that he was the priority and it was about him.
What else can you tell our readers about gold diggers?
Leave early. Gold diggers don’t change who they are. They may change for a situation, but in the long run, you’ll see that that’s really who they are and leave early.
Featured image by Mogul 24/7 | Courtesy of Trea Day Management & Publicity