You may know him as Quincy from Tyler Perry’s hit series, “Have & Have Nots.” But what you may not know about him is that he has overcome some of life’s biggest obstacles. Whether you need advice in your love life or you want a man’s point of view on topics, Medina has got you covered!
In our NEW series, #AskMedina, he will answer any questions you may have about self-love and relationships in today’s world.
Sheen Magazine is so excited to announce that Medina will be presenting at our 2018 Kimmie Awards! You don’t want to miss this!
Medina, I recently found out my boyfriend of six years cheated on me. I was heartbroken and all he could do was apologize, but that doesn’t cure the heartache. Should I stay?
Cheating is a devastating thing to deal with in a relationship and at times, irrecoverable and unfixable. Though I cannot decide the fate of your relationship, I will say this… Your issue isn’t cheating, your issue is that you don’t understand how valuable you are. Change the language and you will change the hurt. No one has ever cheated on you, they’ve cheated themselves.
You see, when value is in order, there is nothing no one can do to diminish that. Don’t let life break you down.
A lot of people get in relationships because they are broken. That is like getting into a car with two flat tires. You will never get where you need to go unless someone fixes those tires. I’m just a mechanic. That’s all I am. The car is you. My job is to help you understand your true value and that will solve everything you ever deal with in life. Now, let’s fix these two flat tires.
If you notice, in most of my responses, I am always referring to gold. That is because you are the gold, literally! That is your value. You are NOT your circumstances. They do not define you. If I take gold and cover it in mud, it will still be gold! It will always be gold! The mud is everything that happens to us in life but, mud does not have the power to change the physical properties of gold. Golve never tarnishes, fades, rusts, or corrodes. The pain hurts and it will take time but they will not corrode a heart of gold. Gold is precious metal because it is one of the best conductors of heat and electricity. Gold is also one of the most malleable metals on Earth.
When you understand that you are more precious than gold, you will produce electricity in your life. You will withstand all heat and pressure that you go through and you will adjust to any circumstances life throws your way because those are the characteristics of your value! You will never fold, you will never break, and you are gold.
My husband and I have always had large friend groups but I’ve noticed he has far more female friends than I have male friends. Is this a red flag?
It really depends. What is the need for such large social groups? And more importantly, what is the need for the comparison and stats of these social groups? As long as the large social groups are not used to cover up other insecurities, then there should be no issue. But what I have found in this exposes the real issue! The real red flag here could be heavy social lives to cover up a lack of communication.
It’s not the social groups or the other people’s fault. It is our fault. We use noble gestures, benevolent settings, and double standards to justify the games we play. Most of us are playing games with ourselves. We don’t know what we want. That is the real issue! It is not always low down, slick games. Most of us don’t know our purpose yet so, we distract ourselves with a lot of noise. Having friends on either side is not the issue but keeping score of each other’s friends will become an issue.
I understand how you feel but be very careful about this. We can’t hate the game all of a sudden because it ain’t currently working in our favor. Would it be an issue if you had more guy friends? It sounds like you two need to talk because I notice a lot of people using relationships to do “single” shit. You guys have to communicate about what makes you both uncomfortable. Don’t be selfish, don’t judge and try to be right. Just honor each other’s feelings and perspectives. His friendships could be innocent or they could be an inappropriate defense mechanism.
Either way, in a relationship, what is most inappropriate is to prioritize entertaining others over build a strong foundation of trust and open communication. Talk to each other. Don’t ignore each other’s needs. Women need to be wanted and men need to be needed. Some of us are the life the party but it’s only because we are avoiding ourselves. Take the initiative! You guys can work through this and master it.
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