You may know him as Quincy from Tyler Perry’s hit series, “Have & Have Nots.” But what you may not know about him is that he has overcome some of life’s biggest obstacles. Whether you need advice in your love life or you want a man’s point of view on topics, Medina has got you covered!
In our NEW series, #AskMedina, he will answer any questions you may have about self-love and relationships in today’s world.
Sheen Magazine is so excited to announce that Medina will be presenting at our 2018 Kimmie Awards! You don’t want to miss this!
How do I know if someone is my life partner?
The way people use the term “life partner” has always been interesting to me. We use it too loosely. It’s like someone that calls them self a doctor because they know where the band-aids are at. No one is a doctor, until they can save a life. The same rule applies to a life partner. Love starts with a problem. If you don’t have problems, then you don’t have a real relationship yet. Love is also a choice. When you decide to be with someone, you cut off all other options. A life partner is built off trust, patience and understanding. You can’t microwave that. You have to ride the wave. Relationships and people go through seasons and this is why most don’t last. We panic and assume they aren’t the one because no one ever taught us that problems are good.
Every summer needs fall and every fall needs a winter. It’s balance. Who you are today, is not who you will be five years from now. Problems give you a chance to understand someone on the deepest level. It’s so you can build strength and create a bond strong enough to weather the unavoidable storms. As you go through these changes together, you will grow closer together. As a life partner, you have to understand how men and women tick. Women need to be wanted and men need to be needed. These are two different needs but lead to the same result Love, peace, and happiness! Love is not based on gratification. It’s based on service. When two people are willing to mutually serve each other’s innate need, even when times are bad; this is a direct indication that you have found love and are truly operating as a partner.
My new partner and I are opposites when it comes to showing affection, I absolutely hate it. In what ways can I conquer this?
What’s two plus two? What’s three plus one? What’s four plus zero? They all add up to the same answer, four.
This issue might not be affection style. It might be simple, RESPECT. Affection styles are born out of each other’s personal needs. Men and women have different needs. Women need to be wanted and men need to be needed. Two different needs but they lead to the same result. Love, peace, and happiness. Different is not always bad. If you can’t look again, you will see both of you are giving the same answer. Just with a different equation.
Both of you must have patience and not lead with the need to change each other. When people get into relationships and only emotionally serve the other with the “favorite dish.” Eventually, the other person will start eating. All good waiters serve the meal how it’s desired, now how they personally like it. That would be really selfish if a waiter brought someone a burger without mustard on it just because mustard is the waiter’s favorite. What if the other person is allergic to mustard? That’s how it is in relationships. When you love somebody, you serve. You serve it to them how they like it and vice versa. If you want the tip then don’t try to change each other’s order. Life and relationships are about service. Respect each other’s styles. At the end of the day, if you truly love each other, the answer will always add up to four.
I have been with the same guy since the age of 15. We had a child and we’re married. We have been together for 30 years and he is the only man I have ever been with. I sometimes wonder what it would be like to be with someone else… Am I wrong? I might add, he had not been faithful all the time… But I am a faithful woman. – Curious
No, you are not wrong for being a faithful woman and you are not wrong for being a curious woman either. You’re human. But where you could go wrong is comparing or measuring your experience to his or anyone else’s. Though it’s natural to feel the way you feel, I have to remind you that you are gold and from what it sounds like, you also have a heart of gold.
You see, gold doesn’t become copper because no one appreciates it. You must remain gold. If there are other issues that challenge your value then that may need to be addressed but your value as a woman should always remain intact. Don’t allow life or other people’s standards reduce you to theirs. The grass is not greener. Life is about choices. Doing the right thing is best when you completely understand why you’re doing. If not, the risk you take is being a good woman but good for nothing. You’re more than that.
Sometimes women martyr themselves for love in exchange for companionship but still feel empty inside. This is not the way to happiness. No one else including your husband is responsible or has jurisdiction over your happiness. You must produce your own happiness through your own passions and then you can share that happiness with those you love and care about. This is the beginning stages of self-love. It is never too late to start this process. Your husband and family will love and respect you for it. But ultimately, you will love yourself the most for finally understanding why you are gold. Gold never tarnishes or fades. Never compare yourself to standards or ways that have less value than you.
God Bless, I wish you nothing but the best.
You can submit your questions TODAY by sending them to firstname.lastname@example.org.
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