Dating should be fun, but in the time of Instagram, read receipts, and City Girls, our perspectives have evolved. Nevertheless, a tad bit of perspective, a lot of self-love and a little understanding can keep your heart in its tip top shape as you navigate dating in the age of social media. Though somethings you will have to learn on your own, here are 10 hacks women can follow to avoid being another sad love song.
- If it’s too hard…move on
This is exactly what Ariana was talking about when she said, “Thank you…next.” If you have to keep going back and forth with anyone. It’s a no! Dating someone should be fun and enjoyable. If most of your conversations consists of a tug and pull, why are you even there? Guess what beauty? Move on! There are more fish in the sea, that are on your wave.
- If he wanted to…he would
Rest assured sis, he heard you the first time. If he cares he will make changes. If he does not, he will make excuses. In the words of the great philosopher, Megan Thee Stallion ” I just tell him what I want, Cause I got another one, that’s gon’ do it if he don’t ah!” That takes me to number three.
Until you are married, you are single. Now, I am not saying if you have a boyfriend cheat; but if you have no title, it’s a free for all. Men do it! How many times have you been dating someone and suddenly, you are scrolling on Instagram to see him and his new girlfriend? Keep your options open and have fun with it. He is not turning down the cutie with the booty at the grocery store, so why should you? Oh! And I did say multidate, not multi-sex. Either way, be safe.
- No “situationships”
Just say no! Situationships are the worst of them all and I find them highly disrespectful. You mean to tell me; I have to act like your girlfriend and reap no benefits from it. The truth of the matter is that feelings will arise, and you will be left feeling dumb and confused. Why buy the cow when you already have the milk. Now, know your worth and reference number two again.
- No “What are we’s”
Baby girl if you have to ask then you should already know the answer. Men go after what they want, and if they wanted you; they are not going to leave the opportunity for another man to get what unrightfully belongs to them. Sorry to break it to you my good sis, if he want you, you would know. Refer to Beyonce, verse 4:25. “If thou liketh it, then he should’ve put a ring on it.”
- We don’t do “50/50”
I want to start by saying the following message will only offend broke men. Men are providers. Though this isn’t the fifties, and we can get it on our own, we are not splitting bills with men. Now, I’m not saying you can’t pay sometime or spoil your man, but paying half eludes masculinity. If you want me to be masculine when it comes to money, then I have the right to be masculine on all accords. “50/50” is not only limited to money and providing and providing is not only limited to monetary things. I’m just saying, what’s the point of having a man, if y’all splitting everything. If we have the same responsibilities equally, then I’m the man too. Then, they wonder why we don’t respect them. Whew! A word.
- Keep your own friends
Many times when we begin dating someone seriously, we subconsciously begin to desert our friends. Its girl’s night in, but you want to stay in with your man. It’s girl’s night out and 1 hour in, you’re ready to go see Tyrone, cause you looking like a baddie and the Dusse is starting to kick in. Every event your invited to is no longer just you cause you’re now a package deal. You begin spending more time with his friends. Things begin to go sour and boom there you are all alone.
- Stop ignoring the red flags
Stop planning the wedding in your head after the first date. There will be warning signs coming ahead. Were all human but some signs need not be ignored. He tells you how he dogged his last victim of a girlfriend and you laugh. Then boom, one year later; your victim number 586 of his foolery. Lucky for you, you didn’t become baby mama number 7.
- Love and logic, don’t exist
Did you know that Snapped is in its 28th season? Ever get to a place in dating or a relationship where you are not quite certain, why you are just not acting or feeling like yourself. He goes to the bathroom and all of a sudden, you’re thinking “ I’ve got 1 minute and 63 seconds to ponder what could possibly be his lock code.” Next thing you know, you are the leading character of a remake of “A Thin Line Between Love and Hate.” This may be the hardest to debacle, as this one is out of your control and mandatory in all quests involving love. Luckily for you, you can avoid this one by identifying those red flags.
- Get yours!
Often, we aim to please men. But really, he should be there to please you. The man’s ultimate objective is to win the prize of getting in those panties. Why is he adding to your number of bodies if he’s merely only doing what you can do for yourself? Understand the power of your hot pocket.
This feature was submitted by Ranecia Dee
Ranecia Dee is a spoken word artist, curriculum writer, and English Professor. She is originally from Milwaukee, Wisconsin; but calls Atlanta home. Ranecia is an HBCU graduate and holds a master’s degree in education and Professional Development. She enjoys vintage fashion, anything nineties, poetry, fine dining, and literacy advocacy.