Solo Dates & Selfies: Black Women are Leading the Self Care Revolution

We’re in an era where the soft life isn’t just a trend, it’s a growing revolution. More and more Black women are saying no to chaos, no to overextending themselves, and no to the pressure to prove their worth through productivity. In its place? Women are doing a beautiful and intentional thing by focusing on rest, ease, and joy. And at the center of it all is one powerful act: Romanticizing your life.

That means solo dates. Midday bubble baths. Scented candles lit just for you. Picnics in the
park with your favorite playlist and no company but your own. It’s a lifestyle shift that’s not about luxury for Instagram; it’s about treating yourself like you matter, because you do.

According to a 2023 report from McKinsey & Company, Black consumers, particularly Black
women, are increasingly driving trends in self-care and wellness spending, outpacing the
general population in categories like fragrance, skincare, and home ambiance. That’s not just a statistic… It’s a statement. We’re no longer waiting for permission to live well.

Romanticizing your life is about finding beauty in the everyday. It’s wearing your favorite dress just because it’s a Monday. It’s adding whipped cream to your coffee at home and calling it a latte. It’s journaling in bed with your silk bonnet on and a fresh coat of gloss because peace looks good on you.

Social media has helped normalize this kind of self-love, especially on platforms like TikTok and Instagram, where the #softlife hashtag has over 1.3 billion views and counting. While the
aesthetic often shows luxurious travel and designer brunches, for many Black women, soft living is deeper than vibes; it’s resistance. It’s choosing joy in a world that often demands our labor, our resilience, and our silence.

It’s also deeply personal. Romanticizing your life can be healing for those of us who were taught to survive, not to savor. When society labeled us as strong before it saw us as soft, choosing softness becomes radical.

Taking yourself on a date isn’t just about dinner for one; it’s about declaring that your presence is enough. You don’t need a partner to be loved. You don’t need an audience to be beautiful.

You don’t need a special occasion to be celebrated. According to the 2024 State of Self-Love Report by Shine App, 71% of Black women said they feel more confident and grounded when they actively practice solo rituals like journaling, walking, or taking themselves on dates. Even more, 78% said they feel less pressure to “perform” womanhood when they’re alone. That’s freedom.

So go ahead and book that solo brunch. Wear your best scent out around town. Fill your camera roll
with solo selfies. Order dessert first. Buy the fresh flowers and Create joy on purpose.
Because this season of your life isn’t a waiting room. You are not “almost there.” You are already whole, already worthy, and worth showing up for.

And if you ever forget, take yourself on a date as a RemindHER!

Soft Life Starter Pack: Solo Date Ideas You’ll Love