You have gone out of your way to make your partner feel at ease, if not secure, in the relationship. However, no matter what you do or say it is not enough, and you are starting to feel like a prisoner in your own relationship. Are you wrong for feeling like love has become a burden and no longer fun and exciting? As long as you both are spending time together, things are good. I mean, they are happy as they should be and so are you; but, from time to time, you would like to meet up with a few of your friends to catch up on old times. You cannot go anywhere without your partner texting and calling to check up on you.
You fear, if they do not stop this foolishness, it is going to destroy your relationship and push you away. You have not given them one reason to doubt you. You have been faithful, and as far as you know, so have they. They lose their confidence whenever you are away from them longer than a few hours. As much as you love them, you are feeling the burden of being in love with a panicked lover, and it does not feel good. At times you want out, but you keep your cool and ease their fears. Life, as you know it, should not revolve around them; although they would beg to differ.
Could they have been this way from the beginning, and you are just noticing it? Are you growing tired of the relationship and just looking for excuses if not a way out? Here is where you must be real with yourself and not pull any punches with your partner. You have been a willing participant in their behavior and the state they have come to. You not saying anything early on is why you are finding yourself in this very moment … with a panic lover.
Maybe they only feel comfortable with you. Could it be they are not the outgoing people-person that you are and prefer to be a homebody? Nonetheless, you are here through your own free will and so are they. Now what are you going to do about it? How can you address your concerns without sounding the alarm that something is wrong causing your partner to fear the worse and break out into all out hives and sweats? It is your responsibility once this has come to your attention, causing you to see your partner in a different light—one that is not favorable to them. Instead of pointing the finger at your partner for their behavior, maybe you should point it at yourself for allowing this to go on for so long and not saying something about it.
Do not disconnect from your relationship over something you can talk about with your partner. Express how you feel and some of the changes you would like to implement in the relationship before it is too late. Be willing to compromise; it will come back on you, and you can find your partner finding other things or people to share their time with even when you are available. Remember, you are getting ready to change the programming that you both have in place. Although you may get push back in the beginning, say what is on your mind. The only way to deal with a panic lover is by communicating your feelings, wants, and desires in a way that does not tear apart the connection you have lovingly built.
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