You are doing a little bit too much. For the last few weeks, you have been over at his home before he’s gotten off from work, preparing dinner and doing his laundry. It has only been two weeks, but it sure feels like you have been seeing each other for over a year. Can I say, “Wake up!” now? You are moving way too fast.

It is clear you seem to feel you are in a good place. Maybe so, but are you sure the feelings are mutual? Do not rush into thinking that you are in an exclusive relationship when you’ve never even talked about your feelings to each other. Let’s be clear here. You know what you want, and you want him in your life. But does he want you? Are you looking through rose-colored glasses, while your head is in fantasy land? Cooking his favorite meal is not what is going to keep him around, but knowing where you stand with him will. Do you have a good time whenever you are together? I bet you do. Does he satisfy your every need and then some? Of course, he does! Which is why you are moving a bit faster than you normally do after meeting a guy. However, if you want it to work, get your head out of the clouds and talk. It is no fun wasting your time cooking and during his laundry when the person you are chasing is not looking to be chased nor interested in the same things you are interested in. Sure, you have somethings in common, but you can only do those for so long before someone loses interest and walks out the door.

I am not saying that you should not be optimistic. Just know where you stand before you start putting yourself out there for another person. Ask if that is what they want you to do. What are they doing for you? If you are both on the same page and want the same things, which is to be with each other exclusively then go all out. But until then, you need to set some limits on when you do certain things. You may be a little apprehensive about having a serious talk right now, thinking it’s too soon. However, those vibes you are sending along with your behavior, attitude and actions are just as serious. Those nonverbal clues can say a whole lot and then some. Do not get it twisted, you got something with them but what that is needs to be discussed before you throw your whole self into this relationship. You rather be safe than sorry.

They have something you want; you have something they want. Maybe it’s just a sexual relationship. Could it be you love their company? How about they make you laugh all the time. Yeah! They got that “something” factor going on and you cannot shake it; but you need to if you going to get to the bottom of what you are really desiring. I like to say, the sooner you know if the feelings are mutual and being in an exclusive relationship is what you both desire, the better things will be. You can build from there.

Do not play yourself by thinking you can go around not talking and just “find yourself” in a happy relationship, because it does not work like that. Real relationships work because of communication not the lack of communication. If you want to know where you stand, talk. Showing affection is good, but it does not give you any information or confirm your feelings. Stop avoiding what needs to be done and just do it, talk. Hearing that they are not ready to be in an exclusive relationship is something I know you do not want to hear right now, but it can prevent you from over-selling yourself to someone who is not interested to begin with. You need to hear them say to you how they feel. Are you really on the same page or is it all in your head? Look at it this way; knowing early in the relationship how the other person truly feels can prevent a broken heart down the road. It can also prevent you from living in a world of assumptions.
Hell, just say what you both feel, and get it out of the way so you can decide what is best for you. If they become someone just to spend time with when you feel lonely, so be it. At least you know where you stand. If this means you will not go over to fix them dinner or spend time with them, that is just how it is. At least you know that’s all you have going on. Find out what they want from you and where they see the connection going. You can than make the right moves that will be in your favor. Are they ready to be in a serious relationship? Are they ready to date you exclusively? Do you both see the connection as a sexual connection only? Just asking the right questions can make all the difference in the world. This is not the time to hide away your feelings for fear of pushing a potential partner away. If you want this to work out, you need to make sure they are willing to put in just as much work as you.

Your happiness is your responsibility; no one else’s. If you want the relationship to last, make sure the feelings are mutual and not one sided. If he or she is not ready for the serious talk, then they are not ready to be in an exclusive relationship with you, plain and simple.