Why are people so mean? I have asked this question a thousand times in my head. Rarely to anyone that matters to me because I know the answer. Many people are mean because others have been nasty to them, but nothing is worse than dealing with nasty, mean, and bullying family members. If they are not trying to make you feel bad, they are going out of their way to make you the punch line in their jokes when other people are around. There is no real way of dealing with these family members other than staying away. Keeping a good distance between you and them is the key to your happiness. You owe them nothing. I have tried many times, like I am sure you have, to handle sensitive matters with those family members so that there is no tension in the air when everyone is around.  However, it’s never good enough. I have learned that when people have a problem with their life or how things are going in their life, they tend to take it out on others around them — family. We all have rough days and moments of discomfort in life that should never be taken out on the people you love and who love you. Still many family members, I know, don’t understand that rule. You cannot force people to do right by you. However, if their intentions are to cause you more harm than good, it is your job to remove yourself from them. Sure, this can make for awkward moments at social and family events, I know, but you must always know your limits and what you are willing to subject yourself to.

Bullying in any form is a “no” on my list. When it is done by members of the family, it’s simply wrong. No one should ever walk around afraid of their loved ones because of how they may act. You should never allow yourself and other family members to endure nasty treatment within your family. But the sad truth is that this happens every day and in every family. No one says a word for fear of the backlash he or she may receive from that family member or other family members who have grown used to the nasty bullying behavior. I say the only way to stop bullying in the family is to speak up about it. Never let another family member get away with tearing down others to make themselves feel good. It’s not right. I know sometimes it’s difficult to tell whether that loved one is playing or trying to flat out hurt you.

We all know when someone is saying something or doing something to us that is not right. We don’t feel good about it, and it causes mental and emotional pain. Being the punch line to a joke is no fun. Trust me. Being talked down to because of your accomplishments is no fun either. Many bullying family members seek to gain power over you, if not control you. They want you to go out of your way to make them feel good. This long drawn-out dance to keep that family member from embarrassing you or worse hurting your feelings in front of others takes place in homes around the world day after day. Sure, everyone knows that Uncle Charles loves his liquor. When he starts drinking, he can say some of the nastiest things to other family members leaving you in shock. It’s never okay to make excuses for such behaviors and actions. It’s not right no matter your age. If you are dealing with bullies in your family, you know the people who claim to love you but tear you down, you should walk away. Never put yourself in direct contact with bullies, including the ones in your family, if you are not willing to confront them and tell them about their behavior. For those family members who think the bullying is harmless and that you should not take it persona? You may have to remove them from your life if not avoid those family functions altogether, especially where you know they will show up.

Dealing with the bully in the family never feels good, especially when you are the type of person that stays to yourself. I learned a long time ago that not all family is “family”.  If there is no peace where you are going, don’t go, simple and plain. Know your worth and learn to visit family that respects you and wants the best for you. Not everyone is deserving of your time. Just like bullies who are not your family will push and push until they get a reaction out of you, so will that family member who has something to prove. Picking on you makes them feel good inside. This may be sad to hear, but as I said earlier, it happens every day. I have more bullies in my family than I would like to admit. I have gotten to a place where I stay away, and staying away is good for me.

A bully in the family wants to cause hurt and pain to others. Sure, things start out fine and fair in the beginning, but their behavior soon deteriorates the longer they are around you. The best way to deal with a bully in your family is by staying away from them. There is nothing you can do to make that family member, who loves hurting you, love or even like you. Love yourself enough to stay clear from them and those family members who see no harm in their behavior; because once you are no longer making your presence known, they will turn their bullying behavior to other members of the family. Your peace of mind and happiness is what matters in the end,  not being the target of a family bully.