Over these almost two decades of Sex, Love, and Relationship Talks, Taboo Tours, Shows & Concerts… one of the general things that people want to know is How “freaky” is my new mate. Well, honestly, some folks who have been married 20+ years don’t even know how off-the-chain their husband or wife really wants to be.
Women ask questions like,
“How do I introduce something new to my man without scaring him?”
“How do I say__________ without seeming like a Whole HO?”
“I’m scared he or she may…”
Guys say stuff like,
“How can I make anal less painful for her?”
“I want her to swallow. How can I fool her….”
“I want a 3some, 4some… 8some…”
Haaaaaa… I think you get the point. Look, we must realize it’s always easier to be upfront early in the relationship about what you do and don’t like sexually. Let’s take the TABOO stigma away from talking about sex! We’re grown, right? I don’t care what your culture, race, religious affiliation, mom, dad, grandma, great-grandma (there are some fine ass Great Grands out here ya’ll GGILF 😁)… Everyone who is healthy is thinking about, having, or is here because of sex! In many cases, if we have the sex conversation early, we kill the elephant before it walks into the room. The person you’re with sexually should be a safe place to be you and explore everything you want.
When we started the “Taboo Talk Tour,” to break the ice, we would give the audience a sheet of paper with questions to answer. Questions like “Are you an orgasm chaser?” “What’s the wildest place you’ve ever had sex?”. And the ice would break instantly. I would see smiles, blushing, here ladies giggling, but you know what, they would all answer all 14 – 20 questions while grabbing a drink and some food. I realized early off that people, especially women, want to talk about EVERYTHING TABOO!! So I eventually streamlined the hundreds of different ice-breaker questions into one list – The TABOO HOT SEAT list.
Initially, I used the TABOO HOT SEAT as a fun Q&A on our Radio show and even did a Man-On-The-Street Q&A LIVE on Hollywood Blvd with strangers. But then I thought, these are the perfect questions to ask someone who you may see as a future lover, FB, spouse, or that one time in Vegas…you get my drift. So use this TABOO HOT SEAT Q&A like a game where everybody wins!
Here are my TABOO HOT SEAT questions. Use them as you wish!
Do you have any STDs or STIs?
I think this is the best one to start with on a personal list. You know how you meet someone, in person or online, and there’s an instant attraction. The chemistry and attraction are so bananas that you skip the formalities and get right to sexting! Well hell! Perfect time to ask this question. And believe it or not, most people will be honest and tell you. Give them a chance.
Have you ever tossed a salad?
Yes indeed. I mean, yes, indeed, this is a good question to find out how far someone is willing to go to please you. For those that don’t know, “Tossing Salad” refers to licking every part of that derriere…the ass people, the ass.
Have you ever had your salad tossed? Did you like it?
Remember these questions help you find your partner’s pleasure spots too.
What’s your favorite sexual position? Why?
Hey, you have not because you ask not. Why beat around the bush? Sure, you can explore together, but why not know ahead of time where to begin?
How often do you masturbate?
This is a great one to know on both sides. If a woman knows how to bring herself to orgasm and what pleases her, sex can be wonderful and fulfilling for everyone. Now, if a man masturbates too much, he may be a bit desensitized which can lead to unsatisfying experiences sometimes. I’ll go into that more in a future article.
Are you shaved or unshaved?
It’s all according to your preference. And some folks don’t like hair in their food.
Do you like your partner shaved or unshaved?
Spit or swallow?
For women, do you clean up after yourself and finish everything? For men, well, we hardly come up to breathe, so we take it all!
If you could have sex with any celebrity, who would it be?
Everyone has that one fantasy.
If you could have sex anywhere, where would it be?
Choose your own adventure
Have you ever had a 3some?? If so, did you enjoy it??
By this point, you can ask anything. And…there are new fantasies ahead. Either way, the conversation is all in.
Do you enjoy anal sex?
It ain’t for everybody, but some folks love it.
Now, like I said, these are just the questions I came up with. You can add your own, delete some, or start a whole new list. The choice is yours. My main suggestion is that you have this conversation away from the house or bedroom. It makes it more fun and more of a conversation vs. instructions. Have fun!
I hope this helps you!
Until next time,