You have done everything you could think of to make your partner happy and comfortable. That is not to say, they have not done the same for you. Two years and six months is how long you have been together, yet you want more. Everyone around you are, if not married, engaged except you. When will your partner be ready? What else do you have to do to prove your love for them and that you want to be with them for the rest of your life no one else. You are tired of just being introduced as the girlfriend. Yeah, you are over it and have been for a while. Lately, you have been in your head over your feelings and their behavior or lack of concern for your feelings. How many ways can you tell your partner that you are ready to get married? How long do they expect you to wait? You knew when you started dating, they struggled with commitment. They never can seem to commit to anyone without fear that something was going on if not feeling the relationship would change. Although, you understood their commitment-phobia to be an issue, something inside of you led you to believe that over time that would change. You thought you would be able to change their mind, and love would just flourish.

Instead of having a flourishing relationship, you are dealing with commitment issues and the realization that your partner fears to move past the dating zone. It is causing you to wish you were alone. It does not feel good when your partner does not want to move out of the dating zone … a place where you do not desire to stay. Clearly for your partner, it is the perfect place, but not for you. Now you see how serious things are and that your partner is a commitment-phobe. You see no way of getting what you want out of the relationship.

I do not want to be the one to tell you but, at this stage in the relationship and time invested, you are better off alone than with a commitment-phobe. If you are not getting what you want out of the relationship, then maybe it is time to consider what is best for you. If you have not had that serious talk with your partner, what are you waiting for? Relationships are all about compromise … give and take leaving little room for selfness. You are not planning to be a career dater, nor do you see yourself playing house when you could be growing in your relationship and taking on new challenges with your partner. If your partner does not see their future with you, then you need to think about moving on. Wanting them to want marriage when they are not interested or have a commitment-phobia makes for an unhappy camper.

There are no easy breaks or rules when it comes to being in a relationship, but you could create a break-out clause if you wanted. This allows you and your partner to end the relationship without hard feelings if they no longer see themselves in your future. You set the rules. I mean, you tell your partner before starting the relationship what you want, and they do the same. You would have an understanding of what you both expect and a timeframe for making it happen. This can be in the form of weeks, months, or even years. When the timeframe is up, you both would reevaluate the other and the relationship, then move forward to the next appropriate level. If either of you has a change of heart, you call it quits and move on.

Since you did not set such rules in your relationship, getting a commitment-phobe to commit to you will not be easy. If you are not careful, your life, my dear, can be filled with promises said but never kept. In the end the only way to deal with loving a commitment-phobe is to meet them where they are and accept the fact that you may just end up as the forever girlfriend or boyfriend in their life.