Why doesn’t age 30 come with a warning sign? Everything changes, yet you’re not prepared, at least I wasn’t. My 20s consisted of clubbing almost every weekend, flights to Miami (my second favorite city), horrible dates and house parties. So imagine my dismay when 30 hit and so did my lack of interest, and I mean in everything. No longer did I feel the need to go out or entertain guys I knew weren’t good for me. 30 opened a new realm of life. And that realm subtracted the ‘m’ and only left room for real.
Dating in your 30s v 20s is a completely different ballgame. Currently, at year 31 I have no patience, giving second chances isn’t an option, and there is no room for games. In my 20s I’d give a guy the benefit of the doubt, and if a date was horrible I’d still endure it for the sake of being nice, not anymore. Which is in part why I seldomly go on dates.
I’ll admit I’ve always given guys a hard time, as far back as my first boyfriend in 10th grade; it’s my way of weeding out the ones with one-track-minds, and it works. But this new era of dating is not my speed. Guy’s don’t know what courting is, let alone a first date (Guys it doesn’t take much, just a little creativity). Sadly we live in a “Netflix and Chill” society where women haven’t set standards high enough for themselves and will accept anything. Hence the reason I’m single.
Online dating was cool in my 20s but now I’m over it. Online dating was truly an experience, the few guys I met in person all turned out to be complete losers in their own special way. There was a guy I met that was a complete gentleman the entire date until it was time to leave and he thought I was going back to his hotel with him. Another guy that I unknowingly went on a dutch date with and even had to pick up and drop off (no he didn’t offer or pay for gas) when I was 18. I had a great date with another guy but the long-distance and lack of communication wasn’t going to work. When I was 18 another guy and I were supposed to meet up at the mall for first impressions and he literally stalked me in his car and watched me walk in and out, only to start an argument with me, blaming me for him not showing up because I didn’t wait inside long enough, and revealing that he was still going to live with his child’s mother (whom I had no idea about) because I was “childish.” And the grand finale, I fell in love with a guy only to find out he was married, but get this, she encouraged me to marry him so she could get divorced and move on with her new boyfriend!
So my experience with online dating and men, in general, hasn’t been good. But on the flip side, I know I have to go out to actually meet someone; but I must’ve missed the invite for the singles meet-up spot. I wanna know where do the young, ambitious, responsible 30-somethings hang out? Besides at home? Because I’m guilty. These days all I need is good food, a good movie and maybe a glass of wine and that’s a good time for me. But every now and then, a girl wants to get all dressed up and taken out on the town, this is where I need but don’t want assistance.
I am truly an old fashioned hopeless romantic. When I think of finding my soulmate it isn’t through a dating site, social media, blind date or hookup. I believe it will happen organically when it’s time. Perhaps if it had to be online it would have to pan out like one of my all-time favorite movies You’ve Got Mail. “I wanted it to be you so badly,” is my favorite line!
Nevertheless, I still have hope, and I’m still open to date. Eventually, I’m sure I’ll turn a corner and crash into my forever. Until then I’ll keep pouring into my writing. After all, if my dream of becoming an author can come to fruition, for sure my forever love can as well.